Loving Your Body vs. Being Unhealthy

Body love seems to be what everyone is talking about. The body image movement is in full throttle let be news articles or musicians. They all say the same thing: Stop cropping waist lines and show us what a real woman looks like!

The harm the fashion industry is doing to the average woman's self esteem in the US is surprisingly damaging. Women and girls alike struggle to look like the image that they are told is beautiful with no account for body type, ethnicity, or history. What's even more troubling is that it's not only high school girls and adults that are worrying about their weight. Elementary girls are in the struggle as well.

Kaelin Tully told Buzz Feed, "I can remember being hyper-aware of my body as a little kid. I was 8 years old and refused to wear pants at all because I was worried about showing everyone how chubby my thighs were. Thinking back, it was kind of bizarre for an 8-year-old to feel that way."

To make matters worse, the images that these little girls are struggling to imitate are not actually real. The gorgeously smooth, flawless skin and hour glass figure that is portrayed by the models are actually as blemished as you and me. With the help of Photoshop and other softwares, already skinny models are being slimmed down, airbrushed over and almost totally done over until you would never recognize them in real life. 

Beautyredifined.com stated in a recent article, "When superstar singer Kelly Clarkson was digitally slimmed down almost beyond recognition on Self’s September 2009 cover, people noticed. Her appearance on “Good Morning America” within just days of the cover shoot proved that her body did not look anything like the very thin one that appeared on the cover." 

However unethical these actions may be, it does not give license to be unhealthy. Although the models are depicted as being long limbed, willowy creatures that easily slip into a size xxxs, the reality is that some people have not been in a size zero since they were in the fifth grade. That is, if they ever were. That being said, it probably isn't a good idea to accept an unhealthy weight and cease all exercise with the idea that what is depicted by the media is faked. 

There is a healthy weight range for all bodies, men and women. If that range is passed the body is put at greater risk. Heart disease, stroke, type two diabetes, and clotting are just a few examples of what would happen if obesity is left unchecked. 

It is all too easy to ignore the advice of doctors and other medical professionals when it comes to how to care for the body. This could be the case even more so for moms. Baby weight has a nasty way of sticking to every part of the body. Expecting mothers are instructed to consume an alarming amount of calories in order to provide for the growing person inside her. Those eating habits can easily follow into new parent life. 

What the media industry does with photoshop is mortifying. The movement that is in place against it thrive to get realistic models depicted in magazines and in videos. The misrepresentation of the "average" body is driving young girls and adults alike into eating disorders, fad dieting and shattered self esteem. 

Although it's okay to say "Love your body" it is not okay to use those words as an excuse to not be healthy. What the body image movement is trying to address is real. What the media does is cruel and, in some cases, irreversibly damaging. But, that does not mean that men and woman should not strive to be healthy. Everyone, overweight or otherwise need diet and exercise in order to stay healthy - if not for ourselves, then for our children. 

The Power of Three - On "Only" Having One Child

It starts around 15 months:

"When are you staring on number two?"

"You have to have another one!"

"That's just cruel."

"But, he'll be alone after you die."

These are only a fraction of what families with only children will hear. The pressure to expand the family beyond "just" one child can be stifling and overwhelming. The social expectation for children is astounding. You are not only expected to have one child, but two or more or else you are considered selfish, cruel and somehow incomplete. 

Avital Nathman wrote for Time magazine, "I knew we were already happy. And that he [our son] was also a truly happy kid, despite his wish [for another baby]. His life, and ours, wasn’t “less” because of not having more."

Single child families are on the rise, jumping from 10% in 1976 to 18% today. Reasons for this are infertility, usually when families wait too long before having children and families feeling like they don't make enough to support two children. Things seem even more bleak with more and more moms deciding to stay home with their children instead of putting them in dare care.
Still close friends and family and strangers alike feel compelled to express their concerns about single children. There are stigmas about single children. It is said that only children are lonely, spoiled, and unable to play well with others. 

Dr. Susan Newman, psychologist and author of The Case of the Only Child: Your Essential Guide, conducted a study of single child families and found that, "the studies all show that only children are not spoiled. They're no more lonely than other children, and they actually make as many friends as children with siblings." 

And yet, people insist that single child families are somehow unfinished and the parents are somehow self-obsorbed. The pressure may build with not only the frequent questions, but with the families that had their first children together all starting on their second children. The excitement of trying and learning that families are pregnant may stir the need to have more.
This may not be a good pretense for having another. The eagerness to jump on the baby-having band wagon may have less to do with actually wanting a second child and more to do with wanting to keep up with the group. Children are a life long commitment. The reason for having children should never come down to, "Well, everyone else is doing it..."
Remember, no one knows what is right for one family or another except for those involved. What may work for some families might not work for others. No two families are exactly alike. No one would know better than the families themselves. 
The pressure can be heavy. The questions intensify and become more harsh and invasive after the first baby turns 18 months old. Although some can be down-right insulting, try not to take it to heart. Usually, it is just out of concern.
There is a lot of talk about selfishness when it comes to children. It is not selfish to have only one child or to have no children at all. In a free society, where we are able to be who we are without fear of reticule is what it means to live in the 21st century (at least if you live in the Western World).
 Not everyone can or should have kids.
Not everyone can or should have more than one child.
So, next time someone feels inclined to comment on your family size, look at them straight in the eye and say, "Never underestimate the power of three."

Holiday Sharing in an Interfaith Family

Ah, the holidays. It's a time of year when you can't help, but hear 374 different versions of "Let it Snow." It's a time of year for gift giving and and the high stress of family gatherings. For a lot of people it is also a religious time.
But, what happens if there are more than one religion at home? 
In an article posted on everydaylife.com the writer pointed out that, "raising children in an interfaith household provides parents with a unique opportunity to celebrate both faiths and honor their children's religious heritage."
Still, there are some scruples about educating a child in multiple religions. At the top of the list, some say that two or more faiths can confuse a child, force them to pick one parent over the other or have incomplete knowledge of both religions.  
According to Susan Katz Miller in her post 7 Myths About Raising Interfaith Kids, she stated in respect to Christian and Jewish interfaith families, "Interfaith children raised in both religions often take on the role of interfaith interpreters, or bridge-builders. At a Bat Mitzvah, they can explain Jewish prayers and rituals to their Christian friends. At a Christian confirmation, they can explain prayers and rituals to their Jewish friends."
A 2009 study shows that one third of families in the U.S, or 35%, recognize themselves as interfaith. The study shows that Jews and Christians lay the foundation for interfaith couples and families. 
There are easy ways to share the December holidays when raising an interfaith child. Lighting the Chanukah candles in the glow of the Christmas tree can be a great opportunity to discuss the importance and equality of both faiths. When a family celebrates the holidays side by side they'd be surprised at how many customs overlap. At least when it comes to Judeo-Christian faith. 



If religion is subtracted from the holiday season, what's left? Togetherness, gift giving, food, family, happiness and cheer. Now, insert each religion back in one at a time. See that? The holiday season is about the miracle of G-d. But, it is also about togetherness, gift giving, food, family, happiness and cheer.
Although the details may be different, overall, the December holidays may have more in common than you think.

Kim Kardashian Breaking the Internet with Her Mom Body

Recently Paper Magazine and Kim Kardashian set up to "break the internet" with pictures of the new mother in all her naked glory. It's not clear if they succeeded or even what that means, but there is one thing to be said about Kim and her naked booty.
You go girl!
New mothers have countless struggles including body image issues. Some that go from a size 2 to a size 14 stay that way despite vigorous workouts and fad diets. Add postpartum depression and sleep deprivation and its a whole new ugly story.
Not surprisingly, Kim has gotten considerable backlash for her shoot with Paper. Most people saying that the nude photos were "trashy" and "tasteless."
One commenter stated, "You know, I've always thought Kim Kardashian was a gorgeous woman, but she truly shows how little class she has..you're a mother now Kim, if you can't have respect for yourself at least have it for your daughter."  
There is nothing disrespecting about the human body in all it's natural or enhanced states. This is especially true for mothers. To have the confidence to take nude pictures of your body after going through the brutal change of not only pregnancy, but child birth is nothing short of amazing and deserves respect.
According to biomedical, "Pregnancy and childbirth are associated with weight gain in women, and retention of weight gained during pregnancy can lead to obesity in later life. Diet and physical activity are factors that can influence the loss of retained pregnancy weight after birth."
While it's true that, like most celebrities, Kim no doubt had an army of nannies, personal trainers and nutritionists to help her get back into shape after having little North, that does not take away from her accomplishments. She grew a person, brought her into the world and then got her body back.
You flaunt that mama body, Kim!
Just because a woman becomes a mother that does not mean that everything that made up who she was before disappears. The woman who was a daughter, sister, friend, artist, writer, reader or whatever else that makes up a person does not become invalid because she is now a mother.
It adds to her.
She is now a mother, along with all those other things that make up the human condition. The idea that the identity that existed before motherhood disappearing after the baby comes is reinforced by questions like, "How does it feel to be a mom?"
That is a loaded question. It suggests that new moms feel different than they did before the baby was born. In some aspects she does. Sleep deprivation, fear, loneliness, anxiety are at the top of the list, but essentially, they are the same person they were before giving birth, only now they have a small person to take care of.
Just because Kim is a mother doesn't mean that who she was before doesn't exist anymore. She is still who she was before her child was born, take it or leave it.
If anything, motherhood has seemed to improve her a little. This photo shoot shows that mothers don't have to be hidden behind the nun's habit. The naked body is nothing to be ashamed of. After all, it's only natural.

The Qualms of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is intimate and private. It gives a chance for mother and child to bond. It offers security and comfort to the child while providing essential nutrients that the baby needs to grow up big and strong.
The question is, if breastfeeding is so wonderful, why is there so much negativity toward it?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, doctors suggest that woman breastfeed for the first six months of their baby's life. Although, most pediatricians advise that woman breastfeed as long as two years of life.
It is the personal choice of the parents and child who is being breastfed. If a mother chooses to breastfeed into toddlerhood it is her personal choice. That being said, there is a lot of disapproval from society when it comes to toddlers and breastfeeding.
Recently, a breastfeeding mother was kicked off a Delta airlines flight for not necessarily breastfeeding her child, but for not moving her sleeping 2.5 year old from her breast to her car seat fast enough for the flight attendant.

For anyone who has traveled with a toddler, they know that if that child is sleeping, you do your best to keep them that way when on an airplane or in a car. The mother had explained to the flight attendant that she was moving as fast as she could. When that wasn't enough, the flight attendant told the mother to gather her things and escorted her off the plane, leaving her stranded.
When the mother's partner called the airline to complain, the representative stated, "Why is a 2.5 year old breastfeeding, anyway?"
The answer, of course, is obvious:
That's none of your business.
Sadly, this is not an isolated incident. Not only for Delta, (there have been other times where flight attendants kicked breastfeeding moms off flight for indecently) but in society as a whole. There is general negativity when it comes to breastfeeding and moms. This is especially the case when breastfeeding in public.
People are apposed to mothers breastfeeding in public because they say that it violates the public nudity laws. This is 2014. Women walk around showing more skin than a breastfeeding mother and yet they aren't asked to cover up. Most mothers do cover while they are breastfeeding, even though the law does not require them to.
Nation wide, mothers have the right to breastfeed their child in public, i.e. parks, restaurants, schools, bus stops and where ever else mother feel the need without covering up.

This goes for toddlers, too. Most kids will call the shots. Even with their growing independence, some toddlers still need that closeness past the age of one. Not to mention the health benefits of "extended breastfeeding" such as protection from illness for mom and baby, brain boost, and comfort.
So, as long as it is working for both mother and child, go ahead and breastfeed past the age of one if you want to.
And for all the Negative Nancys that feel that they have the right to comment, that's not really your business, now is it?

Finding the Balance

You hear it all the time. After the baby comes the new parents' lives completely shift from being all about each other to all about the new addition to the family. Date nights and sleeping in disappears with the 6 o'clock wake up call from the crib and crashing after the baby is asleep.
Luxuries like getting a manicure or hair styled?
Forget it!
That being said, having a baby does not mean that the identities and dynamics that the new parents had totally disappear. It's important for not only parenthood, but for partnership to maintain a sense of self.
Although babies can be very demanding and time consuming, it's important to remember that marriage is not only a partnership in aspects to parenting. There is a balance between all that it means to be a parent and where a couple was before the baby came.
In a blog that appeared on babycenter.com the blogger stated, " Just a few months ago I caught myself forcefully begging Ryan [my husband] to pay attention to me for once! Say ‘hi’ to me first once. When did I become a second class citizen in this house? Weeks of no makeup and a wardrobe filled with sweats was beginning to take a toll on my self esteem as a woman."
It's hard. People have lives to live and when children come into the equation it's hard to let in anything else. Still, for the health of both the individuals and the household on a whole, take some time to do adult things. Even if it has to be after the kids are already asleep. Ask about each other's days. Talk about something else besides what the kids did that day.
Not everything needs to fall on the dad either. The fall out that a lot of married couples feel after the baby comes is no one's fault. It happens. The demands of the baby are louder than the demands of each other's. Find time for each other.

Don't disappear. Here are some things to try:
Try saying hello to your partner first and your baby(s) second. It sounds hard to "put baby second" but you have two loved ones that have been apart from you all day and are anxious for your attention.
Compliment and encourage your partner. So what if she's still in the same yoga pants you left her in when you left the house 12 hours ago? It may have been that kind of day.
Be sensitive to your partner's mood. Although she may have been home in her yoga pants all day, she still had a long and tiring day.
Go on a date! Once a week, or once a month, it doesn't matter how frequent. Take some adult time and actively try to not only talk about your children.
Have sex. Don't forget about that! No one what's to "pencil in" sex, but if that what it takes, do it. Both you and your partner will be happier for it.

What it boils down to is making time for each other. Family life can be all consuming, but you can't neglect your individual needs. The little things will keep piling until you feel unappreciated and neglected. Open communication and compassion can go a really long way.

8 Ways to Protect Your Family Against Flu and Other Dangerous Illness

The world is sick. Super viruses are raging all over the world, adding new danger to the already feared flu season. Households with small children are especially likely to visit the emergency room at some point during this year's flu season.
According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), "Flu activity most commonly peaks in the U.S. between December and February. However, seasonal flu activity can begin as early as October and continue to occur as late as May."

Here are some quick, commonsense things that can be done to reduce the likelihood of getting sick.
1. Don't share any food or drink with someone who appears to be sick.
2. Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds to kill germs.
3. Stay home if you are sick.
4. Eat a lot of "super greens" such as spinach and kale.
5. Disinfect commonly touched surfaces such as door nobs and other handles.
6. Try not to worry. Worry is scientifically proven to lower the immune system which will enable more sickness to effect the body.
7. Get a flu shot
8. Avoid touching the eyes, nose and mouth.

Growing concern of the Ebola virus is rising in the US since the flu and Ebola have similar symptoms. USA Today provides some piece of mind for US residents who fear that as the flu season sets in, they won't be able to tell the difference between Ebola and the regular flu.
Here's what you need to know:
Week one of Flu - regular cold like systems along with fever and fatigue (just like Ebola)
Week two - still feeling the same systems as week one, while Ebola patients would likely be vomiting blood.
Week three - starting to feel better, while Ebola patients are likely to have internal bleeding, seizers and possible death. (the US Ebola survival rate is about 50/50)

However scary the Ebola virus may seem, it is extremely hard to catch it. Direct contact with bodily fluids such as blood or vomit is required. The Ebola virus is NOT air borne. Still, a little diligence does not hurt as flu season 2014-15 rears it's ugly head.

Another virus to look out for, and is far more likely to be contracted, is the super virus D68. The CDC states,  "In the United States, people are more likely to get infected with enteroviruses in the summer and fall. CDC expects, as with other enteroviruses, that EV-D68 infections will likely begin to decline by late fall."

Still, with Ebola like symptoms as well, it's good to know the signs. Children with a history of wheezing or other respiratory distress while sick are particularly vulnerable. King5 News in Washington states that 22 states have confirmed cases on D68. This number has jumped from Tuesday when it was reported that only 11 states had been affected by enterovirus D68.

The key is to not be paranoid, but to use care as the 2014-15 flu season kicks in. Stay calm, and use commonsense tactics to keep sickness at bay, may it be a common cold or flu or the dreaded Ebola virus. At the end of it all, no one likes to be sick.