And Now for a Personal Piece - RE: Dear White Mom

Recently, there was another mom blog "BonBon Break" that was brought to my attention on FaceBook. The entry that caught my eye was titled: Dear White Mom. In this entry, a Black mother asks the White Mom to please educate their white children about the hardships that Black children experience on a daily basis since there is no way that a white child would ever experience any racism of their own.
She states: "Talk to your family about what their black and brown friends might experience that they don’t have to. Teach your family to empathize with, and give the benefit of the doubt to, people whose world and experience is far outside their own." 
This entry on BonBob Break was inspired by what happened in Ferguson, Mo. An unarmed Black man was shot and killed by police officers. The writer states her fears that racism against African-Americans is growing in the US and she fears for her little man at home.
A very valid fear.
Although the majority of racism in the US is against African-Americans, there are plenty of racism and acts of prejudice among other cultures. We cannot ask for action against one and totally ignore, and in this woman's case, out right deny the existence of another.
There are many factors that, it would seem, this woman forgot. The entry implies that white moms only give birth to white children. It is a proven fact that there have been increases in interracial marriages that resulted in children in the US. Even with that fact put aside, the US is a melting pot of ethnicity, culture and diversity.

Another startling suggestion from this piece was that white children will never in their lives experience racism. That statement is in and of itself, racist.
To deny that there is racism against white people, especially among children, is down right insulting. Although it is significantly less, it does exist. The common attitude toward racism against white people is that they deserve it because of what they did during slavery and the decades that followed.
This is absurd.
The current generation should not be punished for what those before them have done. A lot of the time, the white families that are being targeted were not even living in the US when slavery was still in practice.
The entry goes on to say, "in your Facebook feed share something that shows this matters to you. Don’t say you don’t want to be political. Don’t tell me you don’t want to offend people. Because all that means is you don’t want to get into it with your clueless white friends. " 
It is more likely that these "white moms" don't really have an opinion beyond the immediate outrage and shock everyone else is feeling. When being called out like in this blog post, most don't know how to deal with them being inadvertenly called a racist, or at the very least, apathetic.  So, as a result, people share this blog in the fear of being called something that they are not.
Racism is real. Nowadays it touches everyone's lives at one point or another. But, ignorantly calling out a specific group of people demanding them to pull their heads out of the sand and take action is not the way to go.
One type of racism does not outweigh another. Racism against African-Americans is just as important as against whites, or Asians, or Pacific Islanders or Hispanics. It all matters. It is all Racism.
What happened to Michael Brown in Ferguson was an outright tragedy. As this woman states, "unarmed is unarmed." But, to lump all white mothers together and call them clueless and privileged is the exact type of behavior that this mother is asking her "dear white friends" to correct.

It's a Mom-Eats-Mom World Out There!

Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time, 24/7/365 kind of job. There are no healthcare benefits. There is no vacation times. There is no pay. That is, there is no pay aside from getting to watch your child grow and learn and experience the world.
So, as woman and men choose to stay home with there children for an array of reasons from being  more cost effective to simply because that's what families want to do, why are they being scrutinized for it?
It is a big, sacrificial decision to choose to leave the nine-to-five and take up the full time, all consuming role of Mommy. After years, sometimes decades of working you are suddenly thrown into a world where a little person reigns king. Your boss is selfish, demanding, impatient and sometimes, down right violent.
This person is your baby.
For every "good" emotion like love, compassion, devotion and patience there are about a dozen "bad" emotions like jealousy, hate, inferiority and guilt. These emotions work against us and cause us to make decisions that we may not normally make.
In an article dated April of this year, a Boston publication printed "The Nasty, Backstabbing, and Miserable World of the Suburban Mom" the author talks about a high-end society clique of moms that is ruled by the ruthless Queen Bee.
The mothers described in the article seem like something out of the work of fiction. Beautiful, rich, moms that send their kids to all the "right schools" and collaborate playdates, and girl's night outs and BBQs. The group where all the husbands are friends and go play golf together.
Who's life is actually like this?
Being a stay-at-home-mom if far too time consuming to worry about a regular playdate, let alone the "right one." In reality, it's a good day if you do laundry, fold AND put it away. There are days when the baby is clean and dressed, but Mom may not be.

The day is jammed packed with cleaning, scraping, wiping, changing, playing, walking, running, chasing and yes, sometimes crying (from you, of course). It could be four o'clock in the afternoon before you realize that you are still in your pajamas. And not the sexy ones either.
In response to the Boston article, another stay-at-home-mom poses the question: Why do stay-at-home-moms hesitate to tell people that their job is taking care of their children?
The answer, according to this writer, is it's because there is a culture in the United States that belittles and even scrutinizes women for staying home with their children. There is stigmatism that says that stay-at-home-moms don't do anything all day. Comments like, "It must be nice to sit at home all day with your baby."
In truth that's a loaded statement.
While, yes it is nice to "sit at home with your baby all day" (when in reality there is very little sitting involved) that statement implies that it isn't extremely difficult to be at home with a baby all day. It is real, hard work with very little rest and few immediate reward.

Unfortunately, this does not only come from the random Target cashier who doesn't realize the sting of their comment. It comes from other moms who do work. Strangely, as another mom, you would expect them to understand how hard it is to take care of a small child on a 24 hour basis. Instead of banding together, some moms attack others and try to belittle and shame them.
Have confidence. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a 24/7/365 job with very little rest and no pay. Staying home with your child is what works for your family. This way, you don't miss one smile, one tear, one laugh, one sleepy sigh. There will be no worrying about who is attending to your child. Although it's an extremely busy, hard, frustrating job, it is the most rewarding.