The Wedding Ring - Commitment or Ownership?

It all starts with the engagement ring. Most women dream of getting married from age four. They dress up as brides and await their prince to come and sweep them off their feet. 

But, what does the engagement and wedding bands really signify? Some consider it to be a symbol of, not everlasting love, but of ownership or dominance. 
According to one feminist blogger, "In Western culture, the sole focus is on women only wearing this ring and the importance to wear it at all times showing everyone that they are in a state of celebration (and are no longer single). With this coming to mind, the concept of engagement rings symbolism property of ownership to their male counterparts, losing the main focus and reason for the couples planned matrimony."
In most cases, it's safe to say that when a woman gets engaged, they are in a state of celebration, not of "not being single anymore," but of being promised to spend her life with the person she loves. 

The concept of the rings tied to matrimony could be traced back as far as ancient Egypt. The circular shape of the ring is said to symbolize eternity and the hole at the top a gateway. In essence, the rings signify the man giving his eternal and never-ending love to the woman of his choice. (No mention of the man wearing a ring as well, sorry.)

The reason some people may get up-in-arms about wedding rings and ownership is that there are some men who insist on their spouses wearing both an engagement ring and a wedding band, but don't wear one themselves. 

There could be a lot of factors to why these men (and women) feel that way. It could be anything from cultural to personal preference. Men tend to not wear a ring in order to hold on to a feeling of freedom that they feel they are somehow losing by getting married. 

Psychologist Gladeana McMahon says, "A lot of men may not want to feel that they are 'owned', or look like anyone's possession, and may feel this is the message given out by a wedding ring." 

Marriage is a personal matter. The only two people that it involves are the two people getting married. Truthfully, other people simply don't matter. Weddings tend to be a reflection of not only who these two people are as individuals, but a symbol of who they are as a couple. 

A resent study showed that people who marry tend to be happier and less stressed, especially when it comes to a highly stressful time in their lives, like a midlife crisis. 

The New York Times stated, "People have the capacity to increase their happiness levels and avoid falling deep into midlife crisis by finding support in long-term relationships." 

That being said, when it comes to wedding rings it boils down to personal preference and the circumstances of the couple. Some couples don't use engagement rings at all. Some use a bracelet or promise ring to propose and then pick out wedding bands together. A lot of couples don't use a wedding band at all, just leaving the engagement ring. 

All of these symbolize love. All of these symbolize the agreement between two people who want to spend the rest of their lives with the one person on earth they feel is meant for them. 

The Dangers of Social Media - It May Not Be What You Think

Nowadays, who's complete life isn't on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other similar form of social media? Starting out small, social media has reshaped the way people connect with each other. It allows people, who are usually hard to keep in touch with, stay connected.
But, what if that was a bad thing?
There are increasing reports of parents accepting friend requests on Facebook and other social media sites from complete strangers. Through city check-ins, uploaded photos of their children and status updates, potential predators are figuring out where the children of these parents are and taking them.
Although these kidnappings are more common among teenagers, the abductions of toddlers and infants are growing in the U.S.
F.B.I. Special Agent Mike Conrad stated, "We're seeing probably three to five [infant abductions] a week nationwide. It's not that rare."
A less frightening, but no less alarming, threat via social media is what's called "digital kidnapping." In these instances, people are saving photos of children that they are no way connected to and making up elaborate back stories. These digital kidnappers build a whole new, fictional life around the acquired photos.
One Instagram user and mother of three reported that she received messages from a woman who claimed that her child was in fact, the message sender's.
"The women told me they saw a photo of my baby daughter [and said that] was her son Wyatt. [The women] said he was a preemie, she gave his weight, length, everything. All made up."
Thoroughly freak out yet?
Don't worry. There are simple steps that social media users can practice to protect themselves and their loved ones from potential predators.
1. Never accept friend requests from someone you don't know.
Through activity on your social media account, people can figure out where you work, where your children go to school and when you're not at home. This gives the offender more than enough information to go on.
2. Don't use your child's photo as your profile picture.
What proud parent doesn't want to use a super cute picture of their child as their profile picture? Unfortunately, this gives a clear view of what your child looks like. Try using a picture that doesn't show your child's clearly.
3. Set your profile to "private."
When your account is set to "private" only people that you have approved can view your profile. All your check-ins, photos and status updates will only be able to be viewed by people you have friended.
It may seem paranoid to say that kidnappers can use social media to find their victims, but it is the sad, proven truth. Men and women alike are gathering information and taking children. Taking steps to protect yourself and your family is the only way to be sure that your family is safe.

Monkey See, Monkey Do - Diner Owner Yells at Yelling Toddler

If you have the internet, it is likely that you have seen the story about the Portland, Maine diner owner who hollered at a 21-month-old for screaming. In an act for help and compassion, the parents of the toddler girl took to social media. To their surprise, the commenters not only showed a lack of compassion, but actually commended the diner owner for doing what every person who was ever stuck in a small space with a screaming child wanted to do:
Yell at a small person who couldn't control their emotions like an adult.
Today, kids of all ages are being groomed for adulthood in a very different way than their parents were. Children are dressed up in adult like clothing that follows the "latest styles" and expected to sit quietly at a table while adults talk. For anyone who has ever spent an extended amount of time with a toddler, they know that that isn't always possible.
This expectation does not consider that child's personality, general behavior, or that child's day. In the case of the diner owner yelling at a screaming toddler, she not only showed a lack of professionalism and empathy, but proved that she was just as out of control as the less than two year old she was yelling at.
When interviewed, the diner owner Darla Neugebauer stated that she was not only not sorry, but, "[the parents] was lucky I didn't get really fu*king nuts because being physical is not something I cower from."
Um...that's illegal.
Not only was she not sorry about slamming her hands down and screaming into the face of a toddler to shut up, she would not be above using physical violence to remove the child. The parents are shocked and upset about the woman's lack of respect and self control.
This hungry little girl is not the first toddler to throw a fit in a restaurant and she certainly won't be the last. Toddlers are unpredictable and emotional. Parents try to do their best to control their children and keep them quiet and happy in public, but there are times when that is simply impossible.
Although it's annoying, even for other parents with other kids who are sitting nicely, sometimes the child is inconsolable. The parents of the little girl in Maine were probably frazzled, and embarrassed and just as desperate to calm their child as the diner owner was.
When a toddler is throwing a fit in a public space both the child and their parents need compassion and understanding, not a public chastising. There is no way to know what type of day that toddler had had. The family had stopped at the restaurant on their way to visit family in NH. At the very least, the child was in an unfamiliar place filled with unfamiliar things. That alone could be cause for a melt down. Add hunger and it's a whole new ball park of fits. Unfortunately, the diner owner showed that her behavior is little better than the little girl she was screaming at. At least the toddler had an excuse.