The Double Edged Sword of Individuality and What it Means for Our Kids

We as human beings have long since fought for individuality. The struggle to carve a little piece of uniqueness in the indistinguishable world is real. Out of that fight has emerged a place where most people can celebrate their differences openly and be accepted for them.

But, what if that was a bad thing?

Millennials are changing the way people parent their children. These are parents born between 1980 and 2000. They are highly adaptable and tech-savvy people that try to give their children the chance to be unique and independent while giving them a relaxed routine instead of the more rigid regime of the 1990's.

Parent Co. Magazine reports, "In a generation more ethnically diverse than any other, millennial parents are honing a distinctive parenting style that is defined precisely by its heterogeneity and open-mindedness aimed to cultivate kids’ unique external and internal identity and self-expression."

Most Millennials raise their kids to believe that it is okay to be different. In fact most parents nowadays encourage their kids to break away from the masses and explore their own path. Although this idea seems great on the surface, the damage of concentrating too heavily on our differences is starting to take its toll on society. 

Activist groups like Black Lives Matter (for example) open up the conversation of racism against African Americans, but do little else to help their cause. With the acceptation of the select earnest movement leaders, the group has done more to self-segregate and endorse discrimination against ethnicities other than their own. By pointing out how they are different, they have set themselves a part from the rest of society despite their cries to be treated the same as everyone else. 

Instead of concentrating on how we are different from each other, it is time to consider how we are the same. It is possible to recognize our similarities without sacrificing any of our individuality. Being overly sensitive and fearing things that are deemed "different" is no way to teach the next generation.

Children learn from their surroundings, even when their caregivers don't think they're looking. It is clear that the current way society is thinking is not working. Bullying is running rampant in schools all across the country. There is a global crisis of hate crimes, terrorism, shootings and vandalisms. 

We need to reinforce the idea that we are all the same. Although appearances, culture, language, abilities, religion and other factors may set people a part from each other, deep down we are all the same. Every human being on earth is the same. Instead of lumping people into groups that they may, or may not feel like they belong in, let's teach our children that we are all one group. 

We are all the same in that we are different. We are all that same in that we are unique. We are all the same in that we are all beautiful in our own individual and wonderful way. 

After all, if we are all the same then when we attack each other it will be easier to see that we are actually attacking ourselves. 

The Double Standard of Being a Boy

Halloween is almost here. That means that the season is changing from the balmy sunny days to the foggy, chillier ones. The leaves are turning colors. And of course, that means one very important thing -  costumes. 

Children will soon take to the streets clad in their costume of choice and gather candy from strangers. There will be hordes of pirates, superheroes, policemen, princesses and witches. Costumes, playing dress-up or Halloween, let children exercise their vivid imaginations and pretend to be someone different than they usually are.  

What if boys want to be princesses? 

Answer: It's the end of the world.

Paul Henson, of Chesapeake, V.A., posted a picture of his three-year-old son in the Halloween costume of his choice. Elsa. Not only that, but the boy wants daddy to dress up with him, too. As Anna. 

Henson posted a picture of his son in the costume with the caption:

"Anyone that knows us, knows we generally let Caiden make his own choices, to an extent. Well, he has decided on a Halloween costume. He wants to be Elsa. He also wants me to be Anna. Game on. Keep your masculine bulls***t and slutty kids costumes, Halloween is about children pretending to be their favorite characters. Just so happens, this week his is a princess." 

This is a wonderful example of not only understanding and compassionate parenting, but of a confident child. Unfortunately, not everyone sees this as fantastic child rearing. They see it as something wrong and for some, downright disgusting. 

One commenter said on babycenter.com, "No. He is a boy, he needs to wear boy clothes."

The double standard surrounding boys in society is captured perfectly in this ignorant sentence. For example. Does this person's daughter wear pants? Does she, herself? It's almost certain that she does. Pants is traditionally a "man's garment." Yet, girls and women of all ages can waltz around in many different degrees of pants and no one will notices, let along comments on it. A boy wants to wear a dress and suddenly he's strange, weird and, in the extreme viewers' eyes, sick. 

The costume industry does not help this stigma. The difference between the "girl's" spiderman costume and the "boy's" spiderman costume is astounding. The girl's costume comes with a short blue and red tutu dress with a black spider on the chest and a thin black mask. The boy's costume comes with a blue and red coverall that looks like Spidey's suit and a full facial mask. 

Even for toddlers, costumes deemed "female" are over sexualized. Not only that, but there are less options for girls than boys. Party City's website offers 58 career costume options for toddler boys and only 49 (over sexualized) for girls. 

The double standards for children is not limited to costumes. Every day language is used to force children into their gender roles. This is especially the case for boys. Things like, "man up," "boys don't cry," and "toughness equals manliness," makes boys think that they aren't allowed to show emotion and need to handle everything themselves with no help from their peers or parents. 

These values are only reinforced by the gender-specific toys, bedding and clothes. Something as simple as a color is controversial. If a boy shows favoritism toward a "girl's color" like purple he is instantly corrected and it is explained that purple is a "girl's color." It is more likely that the boy likes the color purple because it's bright and stimulating. 

Society is wrapped up in labeling and fear. The little boy in V.A. wants to dress up as Elsa for Halloween. Good for him for being confident enough to wear it! It doesn't mean he's gay, or a cross dresser, or that he identifies himself as a girl. It means that he has a healthy, active imagination and he feels like being Elsa for Halloween. 

Who are we to squash that amazing confidence and individuality? 

Super Healthy Foods For Picky Eaters

It's no secret. Toddlers and kids are picky eaters. This faze is a normal stage in all childrens' development. In an environment where most children control very little, they try to carve a small bit of independence where ever they can find it. In this case, at meal time.

According the the Mayo Clinic, "Many parents worry about what their children eat — and don't eat. However, most kids get plenty of variety and nutrition in their diets over the course of a week."

As a result, most parents try to push the protein, thinking that it would keep their kids fuller longer and aid them in brain and heart development. But, more protein isn't always the answer. Nutritianists caution parents to not over expose their kids, and themselves, to too much protein.

"The emergence of more and more foods pumped up with protein—everything from granola bars to pasta, Cheerios with protein, high protein pretzels and even pancake mix made with extra protein is likely to make even more adults and children consume protein in amounts that can greatly exceed their daily needs." dietitian nutritionist Elsia Zeid told Parents.com.

That being said, there is nothing wrong with making every bite count. Here is a list of nutrient charged foods that are yummy to eat and keeps kids full for longer. 

1. Bananas: Technically a berry, bananas are known as the "super fruit." One medium sized banana offers 422 mg of potassium, 3.1g of fiber and 1.3g of protein along with a variety of essential vitamins. 

2. Eggs: Eggs are a fast and easy food to prepare. It is packed with 6g of protein and one of the only foods that provide vitamin D. Scramble it up with a little cheese and kids will eat it up!

3. Oats: Foods like Oatmeal digest slowly, keeping kids full longer while providing 6g of protein, 143mg of potassium and 4g of fiber. Add in some antioxidant fortified blueberries and it's really cooking!

4. Milk: Around the time kids start becoming picky eaters they are nursing less and getting less breast milk. Cows milk is a great way to supplement that. Milk is jam packed with 8g of protein, 366 mg of Potassium and is 30% calcium that helps build strong bones and teeth. Of course, you can add these nutrition facts to many dairy products like yogurts and cheeses.

5. Tomatoes: Tomatoes are another potassium packed food with 292 mg. But, it also offers protein and is a great source of vitamin C. Pasta and tomato sauce or pizza is a great way to get kids to get some tomatoes in their system.

6. Cinnamon: Research shows that adding this little spice to foods can help the body regulate sugars. Sprinkle a little in pancakes, over oatmeal or even in muffin mix.

7. Sweet Potato: This is almost always baby's first food. And there's a good reason for that. The veggie has  2.1g along with essential vitamins. 

8. Wild Salmon: Stalked full of brain boosting Omega-3 this is not always an easy food to give kids, but try mixing it with some steamed rice or a little sweet mayo and some crackers.

9. Avocado: This is one of the foods that has a lot of "healthy fats." It has 2.9g of protein and also has a lot of vitamins to help kids grow strong.

10. Nuts: Nuts can be seen as a "grown up food" but most kids will be thrilled to have what mommy and daddy are snacking on. Add it to some low-fat greek yogurt for an extra dose of calcium and protein.

When it's all said and done, children who are picky eaters, or sometimes, no eaters, it's easy to stress out about if they are getting enough nutrients. The idea is not to force them to eat when they don't want to. With a few extra steps and little planning, kids can make their snacks and the few bites they actually eat during the day count. And they taste good, too!

The Shrinking Safety Zone: The Rise of Anti-Semitism World Wide

Recently, Jewish rapper Matisyahu was disinvited to a Spanish music festival for refusing to sign a statement stating that he was pro-Palistine. This is only the latest in an increasing number of anti-simetic incidents world wide.
Matisyahu stated on his Facebook page:"Honestly, it was appalling and offensive that as the one publicly Jewish-American artist scheduled for the festival they were trying to coerce me into political statements."
All across Europe there has been an increase in anti-semetic acts. In a recent survey taken by the Pew Research Center 34 out of 45 European countries reported that Jews are harassed and anti-semitism is the highest its been in seven years world wide.
According to U.S. News, "Today’s anti-Semitism differs from that of the 1930s. There is no single counterpart to Hitler. There is no one European government or leader fueling most of today’s anti-Jewish acts. Nonetheless, Europe’s leading heads of state acknowledge that Jew-hatred is spreading. Jews are seeing their religious freedom violated, their grave sites vandalized, their synagogues desecrated, and Jewish lives lost."
Sadly, this is not limited to Europe. The Anti-Defimation League posted their annual log stating that anti-semitism is up 21% in the US from the last calendar year. They report 203 instances in New York, 184 in California, and 107 in New Jersey, among others.
What's even more worrying is that Times of Israel released an article stating that hating Jews in the US has become "fashionable." And according to the writer, it isn't the first time that these hateful trends were seen in the US.
Freaked out yet?
For Jews, there seem to be less and less places where they can feel safe. So far, the violence and vandalism has not had any victims that were children. Still, with the rise of anti-semitism in not only the US, but worldwide, it seems like only a matter of time before ignorant and hateful people start targeting children as well.
The truth is that the level of tolerance in the US is low. Thanks to movement like Black Lives Matters  US residents are aware of the many ways that the sense of "otherness" is able to frighten people. Still, the problem is when people turn a blind eye to anti-semitism as if it never existed.
In February, a woman in Boise, ID had a neighbor stand on her neck until she claimed that she believed in Jesus. Later that same month, 30 swastikas were scribed on mailboxes in Wisconsin. There is always an onslaught of vandalism and shooting around the Jewish High Holidays. Even with this blatant expression of hatred, people still turn away or shrug it off.
These are irrational acts performed by demented people. These types of people can not be reasoned with. Sadly, the trends that are being seen today are very similar to the warning signs that were detected in events that led to the holocaust. Eleven million people were killed in the name of racial purity. Equally sad, is the fact that today, people's attitude toward Jews are the same. This time, the signs can help avoid the repetition of the horrific events that happened in Europe during WWI and WWII.
The number of hate crimes against Jews rising all over the world are enough to send any parent that identifies with Judaism into panic. The scary thing is that people don't want to know what's happening to the Jews. On the other side of that coin, there are the people who think that the Jews somehow deserve to be hated. And that thought is truly, truly frightening.

The Ongoing Shame of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a wonderful way for mother and child to build an unshakable bond. Not only that, but breastfeeding offers an array of essential heath benefits to both mother and child. In many states in the U.S. woman are allowed to breastfeed in public without covering their chest. This is done, but not without a shocking amount of backlash. 

Canadian columnist Kristin Thompson stated, "Breastfeeding is not gross. It’s natural, it’s important and it’s really difficult. So it’s shocking to me that mothers are being shamed for doing it in public — and by other women."

Photographer Erin White set out to try and lift some of the fidgetiness that some people feel about breastfeeding in public. Her photo shoot "Women in the Wild" featured breastfeeding mothers of all shapes and sizes nursing their children in what ever stage of "modesty" the women felt comfortable in. White stated that the shoot turned out to be "undeniably beautiful" but what she didn't expect was that the photo shoot also turned out to be taboo. 

"What did I see that others did not?" White said, "On our BabyCenter Facebook page, the mood veered from adulation to offended — to the point where one reader commented, “This isn’t art, it’s pornographic.”

There is nothing "pornographic" about a woman standing in a forest, completely covered, save for her breast, feeding her small child. It's beautiful. Obviously, not everybody feels that way.

Breastfeeding in public is an ongoing battle. Mothers who feed their children at the mall or at the park are immediately shamed by the people around them. The twist is that the shaming often come from other mothers. In the U.S. the average mother does not breastfeed past six months. If a mother does choose to breastfeed past six months, her judgement is called into play. 

The most popular question asked is, "What is so hard about covering up in public while breastfeeding?"

The answer is that the mother shouldn't have to cover. There is nothing wrong with feeding a child who needs or wants the comforting breastfeeding experience, let it be in the grocery store or in a restaurant. 

The fear of the exposed human body caused people to lash out. People project their own feelings of uncomfortableness that they feel about their own bodies (men and women) on someone who seems to not share in that common concern. 

U.S. society it overly sexually charged. If a mother breastfeeds a child uncovered, she's accused of not being modest. At the same time, men and women walk around in clothes that do not leave much to the imagination and are automatically accepted.
A woman's breast was made for a simple function. It developed so a mother can feed her baby. There is nothing wrong, or indecent about feeding a child, no matter how old they are or how exposed the mother is. The problem is not the mothers who breastfeed in public (covered or not), the problem is the society that feels the that they have not only the need, but the right to shame her.

The Wedding Ring - Commitment or Ownership?

It all starts with the engagement ring. Most women dream of getting married from age four. They dress up as brides and await their prince to come and sweep them off their feet. 

But, what does the engagement and wedding bands really signify? Some consider it to be a symbol of, not everlasting love, but of ownership or dominance. 
According to one feminist blogger, "In Western culture, the sole focus is on women only wearing this ring and the importance to wear it at all times showing everyone that they are in a state of celebration (and are no longer single). With this coming to mind, the concept of engagement rings symbolism property of ownership to their male counterparts, losing the main focus and reason for the couples planned matrimony."
In most cases, it's safe to say that when a woman gets engaged, they are in a state of celebration, not of "not being single anymore," but of being promised to spend her life with the person she loves. 

The concept of the rings tied to matrimony could be traced back as far as ancient Egypt. The circular shape of the ring is said to symbolize eternity and the hole at the top a gateway. In essence, the rings signify the man giving his eternal and never-ending love to the woman of his choice. (No mention of the man wearing a ring as well, sorry.)

The reason some people may get up-in-arms about wedding rings and ownership is that there are some men who insist on their spouses wearing both an engagement ring and a wedding band, but don't wear one themselves. 

There could be a lot of factors to why these men (and women) feel that way. It could be anything from cultural to personal preference. Men tend to not wear a ring in order to hold on to a feeling of freedom that they feel they are somehow losing by getting married. 

Psychologist Gladeana McMahon says, "A lot of men may not want to feel that they are 'owned', or look like anyone's possession, and may feel this is the message given out by a wedding ring." 

Marriage is a personal matter. The only two people that it involves are the two people getting married. Truthfully, other people simply don't matter. Weddings tend to be a reflection of not only who these two people are as individuals, but a symbol of who they are as a couple. 

A resent study showed that people who marry tend to be happier and less stressed, especially when it comes to a highly stressful time in their lives, like a midlife crisis. 

The New York Times stated, "People have the capacity to increase their happiness levels and avoid falling deep into midlife crisis by finding support in long-term relationships." 

That being said, when it comes to wedding rings it boils down to personal preference and the circumstances of the couple. Some couples don't use engagement rings at all. Some use a bracelet or promise ring to propose and then pick out wedding bands together. A lot of couples don't use a wedding band at all, just leaving the engagement ring. 

All of these symbolize love. All of these symbolize the agreement between two people who want to spend the rest of their lives with the one person on earth they feel is meant for them. 

The Dangers of Social Media - It May Not Be What You Think

Nowadays, who's complete life isn't on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other similar form of social media? Starting out small, social media has reshaped the way people connect with each other. It allows people, who are usually hard to keep in touch with, stay connected.
But, what if that was a bad thing?
There are increasing reports of parents accepting friend requests on Facebook and other social media sites from complete strangers. Through city check-ins, uploaded photos of their children and status updates, potential predators are figuring out where the children of these parents are and taking them.
Although these kidnappings are more common among teenagers, the abductions of toddlers and infants are growing in the U.S.
F.B.I. Special Agent Mike Conrad stated, "We're seeing probably three to five [infant abductions] a week nationwide. It's not that rare."
A less frightening, but no less alarming, threat via social media is what's called "digital kidnapping." In these instances, people are saving photos of children that they are no way connected to and making up elaborate back stories. These digital kidnappers build a whole new, fictional life around the acquired photos.
One Instagram user and mother of three reported that she received messages from a woman who claimed that her child was in fact, the message sender's.
"The women told me they saw a photo of my baby daughter [and said that] was her son Wyatt. [The women] said he was a preemie, she gave his weight, length, everything. All made up."
Thoroughly freak out yet?
Don't worry. There are simple steps that social media users can practice to protect themselves and their loved ones from potential predators.
1. Never accept friend requests from someone you don't know.
Through activity on your social media account, people can figure out where you work, where your children go to school and when you're not at home. This gives the offender more than enough information to go on.
2. Don't use your child's photo as your profile picture.
What proud parent doesn't want to use a super cute picture of their child as their profile picture? Unfortunately, this gives a clear view of what your child looks like. Try using a picture that doesn't show your child's clearly.
3. Set your profile to "private."
When your account is set to "private" only people that you have approved can view your profile. All your check-ins, photos and status updates will only be able to be viewed by people you have friended.
It may seem paranoid to say that kidnappers can use social media to find their victims, but it is the sad, proven truth. Men and women alike are gathering information and taking children. Taking steps to protect yourself and your family is the only way to be sure that your family is safe.

Monkey See, Monkey Do - Diner Owner Yells at Yelling Toddler

If you have the internet, it is likely that you have seen the story about the Portland, Maine diner owner who hollered at a 21-month-old for screaming. In an act for help and compassion, the parents of the toddler girl took to social media. To their surprise, the commenters not only showed a lack of compassion, but actually commended the diner owner for doing what every person who was ever stuck in a small space with a screaming child wanted to do:
Yell at a small person who couldn't control their emotions like an adult.
Today, kids of all ages are being groomed for adulthood in a very different way than their parents were. Children are dressed up in adult like clothing that follows the "latest styles" and expected to sit quietly at a table while adults talk. For anyone who has ever spent an extended amount of time with a toddler, they know that that isn't always possible.
This expectation does not consider that child's personality, general behavior, or that child's day. In the case of the diner owner yelling at a screaming toddler, she not only showed a lack of professionalism and empathy, but proved that she was just as out of control as the less than two year old she was yelling at.
When interviewed, the diner owner Darla Neugebauer stated that she was not only not sorry, but, "[the parents] was lucky I didn't get really fu*king nuts because being physical is not something I cower from."
Um...that's illegal.
Not only was she not sorry about slamming her hands down and screaming into the face of a toddler to shut up, she would not be above using physical violence to remove the child. The parents are shocked and upset about the woman's lack of respect and self control.
This hungry little girl is not the first toddler to throw a fit in a restaurant and she certainly won't be the last. Toddlers are unpredictable and emotional. Parents try to do their best to control their children and keep them quiet and happy in public, but there are times when that is simply impossible.
Although it's annoying, even for other parents with other kids who are sitting nicely, sometimes the child is inconsolable. The parents of the little girl in Maine were probably frazzled, and embarrassed and just as desperate to calm their child as the diner owner was.
When a toddler is throwing a fit in a public space both the child and their parents need compassion and understanding, not a public chastising. There is no way to know what type of day that toddler had had. The family had stopped at the restaurant on their way to visit family in NH. At the very least, the child was in an unfamiliar place filled with unfamiliar things. That alone could be cause for a melt down. Add hunger and it's a whole new ball park of fits. Unfortunately, the diner owner showed that her behavior is little better than the little girl she was screaming at. At least the toddler had an excuse.

The Controversial Kids' Toy - The Hand Gun

With summer in full swing the occasional water fight is inevitable. The activity is an excellent way to keep cool, especially when the temperature climbs close to 100 degrees fahrenheit. There are an array of tools that can be used in these water fights such as cups, water balloons and pumps. Still, the most common tool for a water fight is probably the water pistol. 

Who doesn't remember the epic super soaker battles that commenced on those scorching summer days? They where colorful. They had an air pump. They were cheap. Still, with the seemingly increasing amount of child shooters, some worry that toy guns will encourage children to use a real gun, or other forms of violence against their friends and family. 

According to one article, "Everyone has an informal causation theory that playing with guns leads to the use of guns in adulthood," says Michael Thompson, PhD, child psychologist and author of It's a Boy! Your Son's Development From Birth to Age 18. Yet, most adult men who did engage in gunplay as children don't commit violent crimes."

Although studies may show no correlation between toy gun play as a child and adulthood, that does not ease the worry some may have about the link between toy gun play and real gun violence in children. Arguably speaking, even if toy gun play doesn't encourage aggressive behavior, it may encourage ignorance.

It's a child's job to play. Besides water pistols, toy soldiers, cop and cowboy dress up sets also come with guns. Some of them even come complete with the satisfying pop, pop, pop and smoke of dud "bullets." Toy guns make kids feel heroic and brave when most kids feel small and helpless. At the very least, kids just like to hear the noise it makes. That being said, the worry is that a child may think that a gun is an acceptable way to solve problems against people they see as aggressors. 

The argument around having real guns in a house where children live is that parents are taking precautions to protect their families. Gun safes, supervised handling and educational talks are only a few ways gun advocates are trying to keep the family guns out of little hands. But, with more and more shootings in the news, the worry only seems to grow. 

The sight of a child pointing a toy gun at another child, or themselves and pulling the trigger is alarming. Memories of twenty elementary kids shot dead along with their teacher is enough for most parents to hide all kinds of toy guns from their kids for all eternity. On the other side of the spectrum, some parents say that that is an overreaction that may be causing more harm than good. 

In the wake of all these child shooters, schools have been issuing severe penalties for any signs of aggression such as play shooting that they see from children. Some are arguing that kids will be kids and that it was "just play." Although most kids show no indication of any other violent or worrying behavior when it comes to gun play, the idea of a child making a gun out of their fingers and shooting their friends is "just play" is absurd. Suspending a fourth grader for his finger gun may be an overreaction, but not having an in-depth and easily understood conversation about why that action is not allowed is equally wrong. 

To eliminate the ignorance around toy gun play parents need to sit down with their child and explain what guns are for and what they do to people when they are used. Children as young as one-years-old can use a toy gun. It may be hard to have a meaningful conversation with them about the damages of guns. If that's the case, hold off on the toy guns until they can understand. 

What it comes down to is that guns are not dangerous. People are. A gun in the hand of the right person can save a life. A gun in the hands of the wrong person can take a life. With that thought in mind, guns are not toys. They are tools. And you wouldn't let your child run around with an electric drill without teaching them how to use it first, now would you?

Loving Your Body vs. Being Unhealthy

Body love seems to be what everyone is talking about. The body image movement is in full throttle let be news articles or musicians. They all say the same thing: Stop cropping waist lines and show us what a real woman looks like!

The harm the fashion industry is doing to the average woman's self esteem in the US is surprisingly damaging. Women and girls alike struggle to look like the image that they are told is beautiful with no account for body type, ethnicity, or history. What's even more troubling is that it's not only high school girls and adults that are worrying about their weight. Elementary girls are in the struggle as well.

Kaelin Tully told Buzz Feed, "I can remember being hyper-aware of my body as a little kid. I was 8 years old and refused to wear pants at all because I was worried about showing everyone how chubby my thighs were. Thinking back, it was kind of bizarre for an 8-year-old to feel that way."

To make matters worse, the images that these little girls are struggling to imitate are not actually real. The gorgeously smooth, flawless skin and hour glass figure that is portrayed by the models are actually as blemished as you and me. With the help of Photoshop and other softwares, already skinny models are being slimmed down, airbrushed over and almost totally done over until you would never recognize them in real life. 

Beautyredifined.com stated in a recent article, "When superstar singer Kelly Clarkson was digitally slimmed down almost beyond recognition on Self’s September 2009 cover, people noticed. Her appearance on “Good Morning America” within just days of the cover shoot proved that her body did not look anything like the very thin one that appeared on the cover." 

However unethical these actions may be, it does not give license to be unhealthy. Although the models are depicted as being long limbed, willowy creatures that easily slip into a size xxxs, the reality is that some people have not been in a size zero since they were in the fifth grade. That is, if they ever were. That being said, it probably isn't a good idea to accept an unhealthy weight and cease all exercise with the idea that what is depicted by the media is faked. 

There is a healthy weight range for all bodies, men and women. If that range is passed the body is put at greater risk. Heart disease, stroke, type two diabetes, and clotting are just a few examples of what would happen if obesity is left unchecked. 

It is all too easy to ignore the advice of doctors and other medical professionals when it comes to how to care for the body. This could be the case even more so for moms. Baby weight has a nasty way of sticking to every part of the body. Expecting mothers are instructed to consume an alarming amount of calories in order to provide for the growing person inside her. Those eating habits can easily follow into new parent life. 

What the media industry does with photoshop is mortifying. The movement that is in place against it thrive to get realistic models depicted in magazines and in videos. The misrepresentation of the "average" body is driving young girls and adults alike into eating disorders, fad dieting and shattered self esteem. 

Although it's okay to say "Love your body" it is not okay to use those words as an excuse to not be healthy. What the body image movement is trying to address is real. What the media does is cruel and, in some cases, irreversibly damaging. But, that does not mean that men and woman should not strive to be healthy. Everyone, overweight or otherwise need diet and exercise in order to stay healthy - if not for ourselves, then for our children.