Finding the Balance

You hear it all the time. After the baby comes the new parents' lives completely shift from being all about each other to all about the new addition to the family. Date nights and sleeping in disappears with the 6 o'clock wake up call from the crib and crashing after the baby is asleep.
Luxuries like getting a manicure or hair styled?
Forget it!
That being said, having a baby does not mean that the identities and dynamics that the new parents had totally disappear. It's important for not only parenthood, but for partnership to maintain a sense of self.
Although babies can be very demanding and time consuming, it's important to remember that marriage is not only a partnership in aspects to parenting. There is a balance between all that it means to be a parent and where a couple was before the baby came.
In a blog that appeared on babycenter.com the blogger stated, " Just a few months ago I caught myself forcefully begging Ryan [my husband] to pay attention to me for once! Say ‘hi’ to me first once. When did I become a second class citizen in this house? Weeks of no makeup and a wardrobe filled with sweats was beginning to take a toll on my self esteem as a woman."
It's hard. People have lives to live and when children come into the equation it's hard to let in anything else. Still, for the health of both the individuals and the household on a whole, take some time to do adult things. Even if it has to be after the kids are already asleep. Ask about each other's days. Talk about something else besides what the kids did that day.
Not everything needs to fall on the dad either. The fall out that a lot of married couples feel after the baby comes is no one's fault. It happens. The demands of the baby are louder than the demands of each other's. Find time for each other.

Don't disappear. Here are some things to try:
Try saying hello to your partner first and your baby(s) second. It sounds hard to "put baby second" but you have two loved ones that have been apart from you all day and are anxious for your attention.
Compliment and encourage your partner. So what if she's still in the same yoga pants you left her in when you left the house 12 hours ago? It may have been that kind of day.
Be sensitive to your partner's mood. Although she may have been home in her yoga pants all day, she still had a long and tiring day.
Go on a date! Once a week, or once a month, it doesn't matter how frequent. Take some adult time and actively try to not only talk about your children.
Have sex. Don't forget about that! No one what's to "pencil in" sex, but if that what it takes, do it. Both you and your partner will be happier for it.

What it boils down to is making time for each other. Family life can be all consuming, but you can't neglect your individual needs. The little things will keep piling until you feel unappreciated and neglected. Open communication and compassion can go a really long way.